no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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