God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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