But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
