I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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