I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How's work?
Spinning.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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