I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
