But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Say something about gay babies.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
