I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
