TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Pooping to opera.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
