Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
