We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
