i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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