I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Randomize
