What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
