That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
