dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
