please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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