You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
