the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
