i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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