Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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