So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize