this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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