i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
