We should be called the Road Head Warriors
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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