Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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