how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
