I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
