You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
