and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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