so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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