check it out our google latitudes are spooning
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize