I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
