1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
