I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
