There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
