How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Best friends brother. Beat that.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
