me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
