I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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