her vagine was all disorganized.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
