We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
