that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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