I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
