You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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