If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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