dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
