I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
