This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
