No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
