I just cut my nipple shaving
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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