So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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