It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
