Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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