Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
