my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She bit a glass in half.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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