Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize