His hands were made for my vagina.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
