ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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