You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She said her name was "party"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
