We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
