carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
