What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
