i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
