I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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