So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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