So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
