It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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