Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
