I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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