please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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